You know you're in Hearttown when...

> a.. The best parking space is determined by shade instead of distance.
>
> b.. Hot water comes out of both taps.
>
> c.. You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
>
> d.. The temperature drops below 35c and you feel a little chilly.
>
> e.. You discover that in February it only takes two fingers to steer
> your car.
>
> f.. You discover that you can get sunburnt through your car window.
>
> g.. You develop a fear of metal car door handles.
>
> h.. You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30am.
>
> i.. Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and
> end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
>
> j.. You realise that asphalt has a liquid state.
>
> k.. Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to prevent them from
> laying hard-boiled eggs.
>
> l.. The trees are whistling for the dogs.
>
> m. while walking back barefoot to your car from the beach, you do a
> tightrope act on the white lines in the carpark.
>
> n. you catch a cold from having the aircon full blast while you sleep
> during the night.
>
> o. You learn that Stockland isn't a shopping centre - it's a temple to
> worship air-conditioning.