How to fake a seizure.
I got an interview for the Manager job. Tuesday at 4.30pm. Gray also got an interview for the Manager job, just after me, so I'd say ... 4.35pm. Five minutes should be ample time for me to smile and nod and fake a seizure when they reach the "financial management skills" section.
It was small-town awkward at the Art Exhibition at Stormy Point yesterday when Gray and I had to socialise with the people who will be interviewing us tomorrow. Nervous and smiling too much, I found polite questions such as whether I enjoyed the passionfruit cheesecake (I did) rather confusing. I suspect my effusive replies to these innocent questions might have been a little confusing too.
Sod it. I don't think I even want this job. I'd rather Gray have it. I read the duties list for the first time a few minutes after I found out that I have an interview and I can only do half of them. I have no financial management skills at all. While I didn't actually make stuff up when I was addressing these selection criteria I did rely heavily on every possible opportunity for ambiguity. I have spent more time prettying up my financial management skills than I have ever spent doing any actual financial management.
Just between you and me, the problem is that I find financial management so excruciatingly dull that I'll do practically anything to avoid even talking about ...it. I have so little experience with financial management that I still call it an "it". I have avoided it so well that I don't know what it is that I've been avoiding. I'll do anything, including fake a seizure.
posted by Polysemous @ 12:19 PM
6 comments
6 Comments:
okay... here is some helpful advice on pseudoseizures from some guy with an angelfire site. His is more for laughs.
And here is a list of "how not to fake a seizure" from a nursing forum.
Please don't ask me why I have these links.
Alternately, you could watch House M.D., as in almost every episode, someone has a seizure. All the extras went to the seizure workshop and the best ones got to be patients.
PS: Good luck. Break a leg. (not your own)
Hello, Polly. Lovely to see you blogging! I'm really enjoying reading about your adventures. 8)
I hope the interview goes well, and the financial management stuff turns out to be some kind of sheep from the goats trick, rather than an actual reflection of the job, because ew. Financial management.
And I am totally the main supplier of House M.D. Ask me, man, I can totally hook you up. 8)
well I have always been in favour of the fake seizure as a reflex action when confronted by questions you are unable/unprepared to answer sucessfully, alternatively you could suddenly start speaking in tounges and allowing your head to spin in disturbing ways, this also I found a useful escape mechanism to the grueling torture of interviewers.....however what ever you do...do not leap over the desk and shake the lead manager whhilst screaming I am not a fish at him/her...for some reasont his never seems to work out well!
xxx
Thanks for your comments!
It's so nice to get comments.
:~)
You're all gorgeous.
If you would like a cartoon illustration I drew, you might want to check this out, lol
How to fake a seizure in public
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